About Me
My name is Shubnum. Living in Johannesburg, South Africa, I am a divorcee, after being married for 16 years in the Community of Property marital regime. Divorced, also Islamically after 14 years of marriage, through the Fasakh (annulment) process.
I am a mum to a sassy, smart, brave little girl, who I absolutely adore.
And, I am an accredited Family Law Mediator.
I’m an internationally and locally accredited Mediator, having successfully completed my studies in Family Law Mediation.
As an accomplished IT Executive, I also have a Masters in Business Administration, as well as a degree in Information Systems and Investment and Corporate Finance amongst many other qualifications and certifications. So, I am an eternal learner.
Having been through a highly contested, very expensive, litigated divorce myself, I have the benefit of hindsight to guide me, and as a result, guide you through your untangling journey.
Further to my Mediation accreditation and expertise, and years of personal divorce and court experiences, I also have the knowledge of the legal system, the law and empathy to help you navigate your divorce more peacefully.
My journey into Family Law Mediation was catalyzed by my own traumatic divorce. I will guide you through these very difficult times and help you preserve the family structure (where applicable, necessary and possible) for the sake of the children.
Having experienced the lengthy, costly, highly inefficient, sometimes corrupt litigation processes, with my little girl, and my emotional and financial well-being being impacted negatively in the process, with “shark-like” opposing attorneys gunning for profit over peace, I realised that I needed to do something. I want to ensure that I can assist couples to avoid getting to the point I was in my divorce.
Having been subjected to most of the courts in Johannesburg, from the High Court, Children’s Court, Maintenance Court, Domestic Violence Court, Divorce Court, Criminal Courts etc. I represented myself in many of the cases, because I just didn’t have the money to waste on expensive lawyers and litigation for all these long drawn out cases. I studied the law. Yes, it is possible, to represent yourself in these courts.
None of these experiences were in vain. I have learned a lot along the way, and I’m here to share my knowledge and educate you. Mostly what I want to tell you is that NOBODY WINS! Except perhaps your lawyers, if your divorce is highly contested. Instead of your children's school fees being paid, you help to fund theirs, and build their future wealth. Think about it. Does that spark joy for you?
I want to help couples part peacefully, preserve your wealth in the process as far as possible and work in the best interests of all concerned, especially your children. When your family is happy, healthy and whole, the generations ahead of you will also raise happy and healthy families for generations to come.
I want to help create an environment that is collaborative, where people are able to communicate through their conflict, with me as your guide, focusing on the goal for the future growth of everyone involved, instead of the hate, anger and destruction. Remember that hate, anger, and fears are passed down generationally as traumas to your families, in their very DNA. This not really what you want to provide as the inheritance to your lineage.
I hope that I can use my experience, my knowledge and my skills to help you realise that there can be a “Happily, Ever After” even after divorce.
But you have to make a conscious choice. You have to choose that option.
If anything, I hope to at least bring awareness, that litigation is not your ONLY option, and that you do have other options.
Divorce is not easy and it will change you, but who says that change won't be for the better?
If you look beyond the hurt, eventually, you can see it as a freeing experience, if you remove the chains or knots that you placed on yourself to stay married.
Divorce isn't a sign of weakness or defeat, it's a sign of finding the inner strength to do something that feels impossible.
One great thing about divorce is that you can leave old patterns behind and carry the lessons and growth on. There is beauty in that.
Starting over after a divorce doesn't have to be a bad thing. You can build the life you've been dreaming of.
Forget starting over! Consider your divorce the point from which you continued your life on your terms.
Be the Alchemist of your own life. Turn your pain into wisdom, turn your fears into hope. You do have the freedom of choice.
Choose Wisely. Choose Mediation. Choose Peace.
My name is Shubnum. Living in Johannesburg, South Africa, I am a divorcee, after being married for 16 years in the Community of Property marital regime. Divorced, also Islamically after 14 years of marriage, through the Fasakh (annulment) process.
I am a mum to a sassy, smart, brave little girl, who I absolutely adore.
And, I am an accredited Family Law Mediator.
I’m an internationally and locally accredited Mediator, having successfully completed my studies in Family Law Mediation.
As an accomplished IT Executive, I also have a Masters in Business Administration, as well as a degree in Information Systems and Investment and Corporate Finance amongst many other qualifications and certifications. So, I am an eternal learner.
Having been through a highly contested, very expensive, litigated divorce myself, I have the benefit of hindsight to guide me, and as a result, guide you through your untangling journey.
Further to my Mediation accreditation and expertise, and years of personal divorce and court experiences, I also have the knowledge of the legal system, the law and empathy to help you navigate your divorce more peacefully.
My journey into Family Law Mediation was catalyzed by my own traumatic divorce. I will guide you through these very difficult times and help you preserve the family structure (where applicable, necessary and possible) for the sake of the children.
Having experienced the lengthy, costly, highly inefficient, sometimes corrupt litigation processes, with my little girl, and my emotional and financial well-being being impacted negatively in the process, with “shark-like” opposing attorneys gunning for profit over peace, I realised that I needed to do something. I want to ensure that I can assist couples to avoid getting to the point I was in my divorce.
Having been subjected to most of the courts in Johannesburg, from the High Court, Children’s Court, Maintenance Court, Domestic Violence Court, Divorce Court, Criminal Courts etc. I represented myself in many of the cases, because I just didn’t have the money to waste on expensive lawyers and litigation for all these long drawn out cases. I studied the law. Yes, it is possible, to represent yourself in these courts.
None of these experiences were in vain. I have learned a lot along the way, and I’m here to share my knowledge and educate you. Mostly what I want to tell you is that NOBODY WINS! Except perhaps your lawyers, if your divorce is highly contested. Instead of your children's school fees being paid, you help to fund theirs, and build their future wealth. Think about it. Does that spark joy for you?
I want to help couples part peacefully, preserve your wealth in the process as far as possible and work in the best interests of all concerned, especially your children. When your family is happy, healthy and whole, the generations ahead of you will also raise happy and healthy families for generations to come.
I want to help create an environment that is collaborative, where people are able to communicate through their conflict, with me as your guide, focusing on the goal for the future growth of everyone involved, instead of the hate, anger and destruction. Remember that hate, anger, and fears are passed down generationally as traumas to your families, in their very DNA. This not really what you want to provide as the inheritance to your lineage.
I hope that I can use my experience, my knowledge and my skills to help you realise that there can be a “Happily, Ever After” even after divorce.
But you have to make a conscious choice. You have to choose that option.
If anything, I hope to at least bring awareness, that litigation is not your ONLY option, and that you do have other options.
Divorce is not easy and it will change you, but who says that change won't be for the better?
If you look beyond the hurt, eventually, you can see it as a freeing experience, if you remove the chains or knots that you placed on yourself to stay married.
Divorce isn't a sign of weakness or defeat, it's a sign of finding the inner strength to do something that feels impossible.
One great thing about divorce is that you can leave old patterns behind and carry the lessons and growth on. There is beauty in that.
Starting over after a divorce doesn't have to be a bad thing. You can build the life you've been dreaming of.
Forget starting over! Consider your divorce the point from which you continued your life on your terms.
Be the Alchemist of your own life. Turn your pain into wisdom, turn your fears into hope. You do have the freedom of choice.
Choose Wisely. Choose Mediation. Choose Peace.
Accreditations and Memberships
My Story
I founded Untangled Love to help you consciously and peacefully separate amicably whilst maintaining peace, preserving your wealth and preserving your family unit, without the trauma and conflict that is usually associated with divorces.
"Happily, Ever After"
Vision
Preserving the family relationships, and wealth, through peaceful, amicable divorce solutions for your “Happily, Ever After”.
Mission
- Ensure that the interests of the children are always top priority.
- Lower the cost of divorce, thus preserving family wealth.
- Preserve the family unit post-divorce raising happy healthy children (where there are children).
- Have a peaceful separation that results in the growth of the couple apart.
- Assist with the ease of transition into your new lives apart through healing.
- Reduce the burden on the court system.
Values
- Fair, Honest and Transparent.
- Work with LOVE and PEACE at the core.
- Work for the greater good of all impacted.
- Consider the best interests of all parties.
- Always look at Win-Win.
- Work speedily and skillfully with quality, expertise, empathy and experience.
What Is Mediation?
Mediation is an Alternative Dispute Resolution that is a structured process of negotiations between the parties. The mediator facilitates discussions assisting the parties to produce creative solutions through communication and collaboration.
With Mediation, you are empowered to create solutions through an exploration and evaluation of options that are unique to your family and legal issues.
You control the outcome of your situation where the Mediator acts as the facilitator of the process.
The Mediator provides both the parties with the same legal information, not advice and then analyses and manages the conflict considering your needs.
The Mediator is impartial and neutral meaning that the mediator does not choose sides or represent either one of the parties, regardless of who chooses to pay the mediator, or if the fees are split.
The process is Confidential and “Without Prejudice” which means that the information shared in mediation cannot be used in court as part of a litigation process.
The process is notably more efficient than litigation. This efficiency means that the entire process can take only a couple of days, if you are open and collaborative in the process. The savings in financial and emotional terms are unparalleled.
Services
30 Minute Free Information Session
Get a free 30-minute consult when you purchase “My Big Fat Divorce Planner”
https://www.takealot.com/my-big-fat-divorce-planner/PLID91677939
During the consult, I will be able to understand what your need is, then explain the process of mediation to you and what my service offerings are.
We can determine if mediation is a good option for you or if you require Divorce Coaching instead.
I will need both parties to agree to mediation before we begin working together if you require Mediation as a service
Divorce Settlements
The Mediator will have joint and/or individual sessions with the parties in order to draft a divorce settlement agreement.
This will include the calculation of the split of the assets based on the marital regime, and the calculation of maintenance as well as the details required to create a Parenting Plan. Read More
Parenting Plans and Section 22 Agreements
The Mediator will discuss the best interest of the children when crafting a Parenting Plan. Parenting plans will include items pertaining to the best interest of the child as per The Children’s Act 38 of 2005. The Child Participation Report will be an input into the parenting plan and needs to be completed by a qualified specialist that works with child participation. Read More
Section 22 Agreements – Assisting extended family with acquiring certain rights and responsibilities for the children e.g., grandparents who care for the children, may acquire certain rights and responsibilities as per the Children’s Act. The Parenting Plan covers parental rights and responsibilities, care and contact as well as the following:
Maintenance
Agreements
The Mediator will discuss the maintenance obligations to both parties based on whether spousal maintenance is required, or maintenance to care for the children is required Read More
This will be done via joint sessions with the parties, where they are required to divulge financial information and information around the their expenses, especially where accurate maintenance calculations need to be made. The process can be as creative and collaborative as the parties wish for it to be in order to reach an agreement that works for all, and that is in the best interests of the children. The Mediator will assist the parties calculate the maintenance obligations using a court approved Maintenance Calculator and draft the Maintenance Agreement based on the outcome of the sessions and agreements reached.
Pre-Marital Mediation
Very few couples know what questions to ask before marriage. They believe that they will continue in their marriage together as husband and wife as they did, harmoniously in the beginning of their relationship. Read More
Marriage brings obstacles and hurdles to a relationship. Often the marital regime or pre-nuptial contract only considers the assets and liabilities split and not issues around family, maintenance and children, along with other issues around intimacy. Before you “tie the knot”, the Mediator will sit with you as a couple, and navigate the deep uncomfortable questions that will guide your future as a couple. This will assist you to clearly understand your partner when it comes to the key issues around items that often are the cause of many failed marriages, and help you create collaborative spaces as a couple to proactively navigate them through honest, open and authentic conversation.
Domestic Violence Interdicts
The Mediator can assist with Domestic Violence Interdicts and the process to be followed, as well as understanding your rights as per the Domestic Violence Act.
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Contact Me
Fee Structure
fees
r2,000.00
per hour
- Quotes will be provided based on the services requested.
- Once the quote is accepted, and the Client Registration is completed, the parties will be invoiced.
- When the invoice is paid, and the Mediation Agreement is signed, then we will proceed with the consultations and thereafter the drafting of documentation.